smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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