My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
