Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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