uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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