You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
