Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize