Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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