dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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