do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
