I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize
