I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
nutella sex= disaster
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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