ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
