dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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