This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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