Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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