Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
