Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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