im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
