Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
