Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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