She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
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the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
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An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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