office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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