there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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