Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
