he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
