I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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