Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
