love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
