Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
