You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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