pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Its about making memories worth repressing
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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