I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I would fuck him just for his dog
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
