So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
