come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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