Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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