Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
