i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
