she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
