he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
