Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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