It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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