that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
