I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're so nebulous sometimes
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
