don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
