No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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