xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
