In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
