Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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