Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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