Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
