I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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