i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
