Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
