my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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