You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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