Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.

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  (312): omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies (815): Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more. http://tfl.nu/camm
  Replies (13) Good night (889) Bad night (1797)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery

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  (217): Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery http://tfl.nu/m6f7
  Replies (12) Good night (2212) Bad night (439)
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  (914): View more from New York

  After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!

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  (914): After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT! http://tfl.nu/umoe
  Replies (129) Good night (6283) Bad night (649)
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  (631): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

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  (631): sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood http://tfl.nu/dhuu
  Replies (113) Good night (1024) Bad night (6218)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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  (951): As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it http://tfl.nu/zufl
  Replies (9) Good night (2386) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.

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  (410): She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on. http://tfl.nu/tb1p
  Replies (21) Good night (747) Bad night (5206)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.

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  (616): margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label. http://tfl.nu/4zf6
  Replies (10) Good night (907) Bad night (4163)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his

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  (251): Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his http://tfl.nu/lwp2
  Replies (26) Good night (1181) Bad night (6735)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. Its not even 11am.

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  (973): Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house. (1-973): Wow. Its not even 11am. http://tfl.nu/p3yd
  Replies (3) Good night (3051) Bad night (1037)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.

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  (214): Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours. http://tfl.nu/p1m2
  Replies (13) Good night (2634) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react

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  (484): You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react http://tfl.nu/5bkg
  Replies (7) Good night (1395) Bad night (382)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.

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  (517): Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair. http://tfl.nu/ga23
  Replies (4) Good night (923) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.

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  (505): Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds. http://tfl.nu/oq4c
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..

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  (843): It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone.. http://tfl.nu/vld6
  Replies (13) Good night (310) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was

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  (850): Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was http://tfl.nu/le26
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (208)

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