i barfeds in our rink
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something