# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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