its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house