if only i could text you this smell
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program