Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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