dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
